In my dream, I was probably ten years old and was walking home. I was only about 100 meters away, and about to enter the street where my house was.
A large military plane was flying overhead in circles. An unseen but nearby radio was broadcasting of engine failure. Something horrible was happening. Ahead of me, a fire suddenly broke out and quickly spread to block the nearer end of our street. I won’t be able to enter.
I ran to the next street, hoping to run along it towards the other end of our street and go around to reach our house. But when I reached the next street, the fire has already spread there.
I ran to the next street. And the next one, and the next. But the spreading fire beat me every time.
At that point, I woke up, distraught. I remembered the horrible atom bombing sequence in Barefoot Gen.
The other night’s dream: I was walking with Heidi Klum towards a jeepney stop. We were BFF and all.
We saw Claudia Schiffer walking ahead of us towards the stop, but then she took a turn and went someplace else further.
We got in a jeep and I told Heidi it’s awesome to see a known celebrity taking public transport. She laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal. She said usually takes the jeep late at night and people don’t recognize her.
I was about to pay when Heidi said she already paid for herself.
When she said that, I thought, “Huh, hindi man lang nang-libre.” I didn’t notice when she paid the driver; I thought that was rather sneaky of her.
So basically, in my dream, I was a little insulted that Heidi Klum paid her jeepney fare without telling me and didn’t even consider offering to pay for me. Some BFF she was.
It seems very appropriate that the last spread I will be doing in 2015 starts with Death.
Death is a signal for transformations. The old self, the old model, the old year is dead. It has ended and it’s time to replace it with something new.
Death is both a time of mourning and celebration: We mourn as we remember the memories of times gone past. We celebrate the coming year and the new experience they will bring to us.
Knight of Wands
Among the court cards, the Knights are symbols of action and activity. They are not merely messengers, they are agents of change.
The Knight of Wands represent the act of the spirit, of creativity: The Knight gallops forward to meet its challenges without hesitation.
We may fear changes. We may fear the unknown. But the Knight of Wands urges us to go beyond that fear, take a new step, and welcome the changes that came after the Death of the old year.
Two of Cups
Two of Cups, according to the Book of Thoth, represents Love. It is the meeting of two souls into understanding. It is the sharing of affections.
As the last card in this spread, Two of Cups is the attitude we should bring as we move forward with the Knight of Wands: An attitude of openess and welcome.
We may not know what the year will be like, but we can welcome it with kindness and warmth. More importantly, we should be kinder and warmer to ourselves this New Year.
In a time when things are changing, when rules are changing, and when we are starting over, we should allow more love and forgiveness for ourselves.
There was a time I was into food literature: non-fiction about the food we eat, why we enjoy some food, and the history of the food we consume. Learning about the hidden intricacies of mundane things is always delightful; and food, even the fancy kinds, are some of the most mundane things we partake everyday.
There was this book that I enjoyed reading, Gastronaut: Adventures in Food for the Romantic, the Foolhardy, and the Brave, where Stefan Gates narrates his various food adventures. In one essay, he decided to try incorporating various stuff from his body into his food: fingernail clippings, semen, urine. The only body stuff he didn’t use are hair (they can’t be digested and can cause problems with one’s intestines) and feces (it’s toxic). It was an interesting exercise in overcoming disgust due to body-related food taboos.
Read more: I was reminded of that essay while reading a viral story today about a woman who used her vaginal yeast to create bread.
Halloween is over but it is still the Feast of All Souls. For this special occasion, I am presenting a pair of two-card spreads.
The first spread has Two of Wands and Six of Swords.
Two of Wands
This card indicate hopes and aspirations. We may be longing for things that are not yet within our reach. Or they may be things that are currently not possible for us.
Six of Swords
This is a card of journeys and transitions. The world is changing and we will not have a place to stay if we choose to stay where we are.
We may still be craving for old hopes and dreams which are already well past their time. It is time to find ourselves new goals and new destinations. There may be fear in taking that first step, but choosing inaction is no longer beneficial to us.
The second spread has Nine of Swords and Six of Coins.
Nine of Swords
This is a card showing our fears taunting us. And yet these fears might not be as potent as they seem.
Six of Coins
This represents nostalgia which may be an unhealthy attachment to our past. Letting go and moving on are needed to bring our lives forward.
Fear and anxiety are often made worse by our minds. Confronting our fears may show us how we allow ourselves to be under the control of something that has no real power. Our fears might be fueled by memory, which in turn drives our guilt. We must learn to make peace with our ghosts: the memories that are holding us back.
The images are from the Gothic Tarot of Vampires created by Riccardo Minetti and Emiliano Mammucari; and published by Lo Scarabeo.